On the 23rd August 2019 it finally all made sense and the many pieces came together to form the completed puzzle. At last I fully realised why I am alive, what I am on this planet to do, and how to implement this information. As I write this I have tears of relief pouring down my face, I can hardly read the words I am writing, but the impulse to express what is happening is so strong that at nearly midnight I must delay sleep and anchor just what I experienced today.
I’ll start at the beginning. I was a normal girl born into a normal family, where there was much love within an atheist household. The first inexplainable event happened aged around six as I walked along the hallway of the family home and turned to enter my bedroom. There was a small school desk at the entrance and I placed my right hand on it as I turned into the room, then, the physical world suddenly disappeared and I was catapulted into another reality. There was only pure bliss, and it was endless; time stood still as I floated in space, and I have no clue as to how long I was in this suspension between timelines. Then as quickly and unexpectedly as it arrived it was gone, and I was left wondering what on earth had happened.
Soon after, and I have no idea whether this was hours, days, weeks or months later it happened again. This time I was outside in our garden turning the tap to wash or fill something; and again I instantly became formless and was overcome with bliss. In that moment I was an expanded energy that needed or wanted nothing, and was complete and eternal. The sense of limitlessness of the experience has never left me and when I close my eyes I can immediately transport myself back.
I don’t know where I stole the bible from, but subconsciously I guess I needed to look for some answers to what I had experienced and didn’t know where else to look. I would say goodnight to my parents and then grab the hidden bible and torch that was under my bed and read a few pages each night under the duvet, however I didn’t find what I was searching for.
I never told anyone what had happened to me. It was so un-human and indescribable to a six year old atheist. I simply wouldn’t have been able to explain it, so I forgot, grew up, fell spiritually asleep and got on with life.
In my late teens I became involved in taking ecstasy, MDMA, and later cocaine, where I reached a higher state that was similar, but not as pure, as the events in my childhood. It was only later that I realised that I had been unconsciously trying to recreate Blissful Infinity, only to find catastrophic hangovers and addictions that I couldn’t shake – and still no answers.
My spiritual journey was rediscovered in my mid twenties when I found yoga and begun the journey back into myself. I gradually shook off the substances, unhealthy relationships, and stopped people pleasing. I was introduced to Tibetan Buddhism whilst in India and came into contact with an enlightened being which catapulted my own meditation practice, which in turn inspired a life lived from a place of trust, truth and alignment. It took time and effort, learning the ‘rules’ and ‘laws’ of energy, attraction, surrender and embodiment, and hours sat on my meditation cushion pondering the nature of reality.
However what strikes me the most right now in this moment is the EFFORTLESSNESS of these blissful moments when I was six; I didn’t ask for them; I didn’t try to achieve this state; it just happened. It was a divine intervention, a revealing, unity consciousness making itself known to this clueless kid.
I mistakenly thought throughout the beginnings of my adult spiritual journey that I had to apply effort to re-reach this state, and tried so hard to ‘get there’, until I realised there was no ‘there’ to get to. I was already it, I had been shown that 41 years ago, so why did I think I had to ‘try’ now?
Yoga teaching spanned throughout the last 20 years and the journey to find my Inner Guidance, held by Tibetan Buddhism, The Chocolate Shaman; Keith Wilson, Madam Cacao herself and all she taught me about addiction, and of course quantum physics.
The calling work with Bentinho Massaro began in 2017 and I was interested in learning what was my deep driving desire in this lifetime, and I originally came up with ‘people experiencing freedom’. This progressed to ‘alignment’ at the beginning of 2019, but it was to be on Friday 23rd August 2019 on a call with Cory Katuna, that I finally got to the bottom of it; by piecing it all together and realising that ‘my calling is for people to experience Blissful Infinity’, which is the best way I can describe what six year old Jo encountered.
We all need permission slips to get us on to the path, however, once we connect with our calling, in my case Blissful Infinity, they fall away and we realise that they were merely signposts along the way.
From this day forward I commit to this state of Blissful Infinity. Every one of my thoughts, words and actions to be in alignment with it. I will never be the same again because I know why I am here -there is to be no more fucking around – and my mission is to unlock Blissful Infinity in as many people on this planet as I can, by reflecting this state back to them.
I have to
There is no going back
Once you know, you cannot un-know..